Suzie’s husband planned a long-awaited birthday party for his wife. Surrounded by friends and family, Suzie enjoyed great food and friends, the perfect day. As she was refilling her iced tea, disaster struck. A bee stung Suzie’s foot, and the painful sting caused her foot to swell. Her husband rushed her to a doctor for treatment.
If Suzie focuses on the pain of the bee sting instead of all of the good food and great friends, how will she feel about her birthday party?
This is like any relationship. In any part of life, there are fun times and good experiences mixed together with occasional bad experiences and disappointments.
Dwelling more on the pain and disappointments creates powerful resentment, and we may wish we were not in the relationship. The good news is that you’re in control of what you’re focusing on.
By choosing to focus on the positives, you can make your relationship much more pleasant, leading to even more positives to focus on! You’ll be easier to live with, and your partner will appreciate being with you even more.
Start by trying this for just a few days. When you finish something, look back and notice the positives of the experiences. Don’t pay attention to any of the negatives, but instead focus only on the positives. After a couple days of doing this, see if your attitude towards those around you – especially your partner – has improved.
If you can re-write your stories, focusing only on the good times and the positive qualities of your partner, your relationship is likely to become stronger and happier.