Updated! – Make Room For The Small Stuff Too!
Each summer, John and Mary fought about running the air conditioner at night. He assumed that if Mary was cold, she would simply put on extra blankets. He felt it unfair if he wasn’t able to sleep in a comfortable environment. Like many people, Mary was embarrassed by her needs, but at her wit’s end, finally gained the courage to tell John, “It’s not the temperature I can’t deal with, it’s the many sounds of the A/C turning on and off all night that is keeping me awake!” Mary is very sensitive to every sound in the house at night.
The reason Mary felt embarrassed was because she thought her request was too eccentric to share, and she didn’t want to sound needy or whiny. Once John understood the issue, he quickly put insulation in the A/C closet and closed the bedroom door at night.
When you’re not willing to be open with each other, even about the small stuff, your relationship will be far more challenging than it needs to be.
As a partner in a relationship, sometimes you need to just accept what seems like an odd request; you don’t need to understand everything. As the partner with the request, you need to be willing to trust your partner. If they love you, they'll want to help you with your problems and challenges, even if they doesn’t totally understand.
For any relationship to be successful, each person needs to be willing to give the benefit of the doubt as much as possible.
If something in your relationship, living situation, or environment is causing stress, don’t assume it’s too small of an issue to bother the other partner about. Instead, make room for the small stuff too!