Staying Quiet or Staying Married
Sometimes it can seem like no matter what either partner does it is just the “wrong” thing to do! So many people just stop taking action all together in a last ditch attempt to avoid failing once again.
That is when the real trouble begins. For many couples they just don’t know how damaging taking no action can be until it is too late.
You see, without action, your behavior looks absolutely aggressive and intentional and your words & promises come to mean nothing to your partner. These every day tiny acts of “micro-betrayal” quickly erode the foundation of love, trust and respect.
When your not taking action to keep your word, especially on the “small stuff, it can feel like you are being deliberately hurtful toward your partner - as if you’re trying to actively disappoint them. To make things worse, these disappointments are often followed by lots of stories and excuses and usually a lot of blame gets hurled around and that can be infuriating to both partners.
Micro-acts of betrayal are the most destructive of all. Too often these small every day let downs are quickly “swept under the rug” in an attempt to keep the peace. Like we said earlier, most couples talk about the big things. It’s those daily acts of disappointment that sit right below the surface that really threaten the integrity of your relationship.
Each time you don’t deliver on something that you agreed to do, or react in a way you agreed not to react, your creating negative feelings of resentment and mistrust in your relationship.
These negative feeling that collect over time seem to band together and end up creating very real barriers to communication, cooperation & intimacy. Behind all kinds of seemingly small every day-let downs are very real and destructive feelings.
Over time, these negative feelings collect like water from a leaking roof. Over time the roof begins to rot, and eventually comes crashing in around you often when you least expect it.
The good news is that roofs, like relationships are repairable, and are best fixed the minute a leak occurs.
If you want to revitalize your relationship then now is the time to start a dialogue about what’s getting swept under the rug in your relationship?
Today, right now, start paying attention to the daily details of your life and in your relationship. When inattentiveness or lack or concentration are factors in your relationship, then it is critical that you “Sweat The Small Stuff” and make your feelings known before it’s too late.
Remember that whatever you choose to stuff under the rug will grow and fester. In no time at all, and when you least expect it, you will find yourself stumbling and falling under the weight of all that stuff you shoved away.
Being successful with this condition means managing your interactions moment-to-moment and day-to-day. When you handle things as they happen, and don’t stuff your feelings under the rug, both partners usually find they hurt less and are able to live better.
Sure it is awkward at first, it is that way for almost everybody when they start dealing with things right as they come up. You might even feel like you are being a complainer. Well, unless you want your relationship to rot like a leafy roof, learning how to deal with your life as it comes along is a really great way to live!