Love in Quarantine: When It Comes to Smartphones...
There’s no doubt that we’re all spending more time on screens lately, one of the results of an extended “Stay Home, Stay Safe” order from our governors as Covid-19 swept the country.
It’s perhaps even easier than it ever has been to be drawn to use our phone, laptop, or tablet because we’re so accustomed to being online right now.
For our most intimate relationships, this spells trouble when we’re paying more attention to our devices than we are to our partner.
We have all kinds of tips and strategies to break ourselves of our bad habits when it comes to our smartphone use in our Couples Success Guide called The Smartphone Love Affair, but we want to highlight two that was we have seen make a difference for many of the couples we’ve worked with in the last decade.
Customize Your “Do Not Disturb” Settings
One thing you can do to ensure that your phone or another device does not get in the way of your relationship – or good sleep – is to customize your Do Not Disturb setting.
We suggest that you spend a few minutes deciding which calls and texts come through after, say, 10 PM. This way, you don’t miss important calls from family or friends or other urgent messages without every text, tweet, or call coming through.
The 30-Minute Rule
Another of the hard-and-fast rules we’ve applied to our own marriages is one we call The 30-Minute Rule.
This means that all devices, smartphones most especially, are put on their chargers or on the nightstand 30 minutes before you fall asleep. Then, you can spend the last 30 minutes of the day watching TV together, or catch up on the day, or just hang out.
The idea here is that you do something to connect with each other. When you make your partner the last thing you see or hear before you fall asleep, you’re deepening intimacy and strengthening your bond.
A Final Thought
If you’re like most couples, you’re probably spending between 4-5 hours each day on your phone – and likely that’s only increased in quarantine. While the allure of our phones is appealing, we can get into real trouble if we don’t establish any boundaries when it comes to our use of technology.
Remember – we like our cell phones, but we like our partners more.