Made a mistake? Messed up again? Stepped on your partner’s toes? Communication is KEY in relationships, and even more so in those where anger is present. And guess what!? Apologies are an essential part of all healthy relationships. Every person makes mistakes, and each couple comes with two flawed people, so there are bound to be occasions for apologies in every relationship. Couples who quickly (and genuinely) exchange apologies spend more quality time together; striving for solutions and discovering strategies on how to do better next time.
For couples where anger is present, things are no different. There will still be mistakes made, and there will still be a need for apologies. However, anger can affect how to best make an apology.
DON’T make things worse by pouring out a long, drawn-out apology or begging endlessly for forgiveness. It only makes things worse! The angry partner tends to get lost in a million words, while the non-angry partner wants fewer words and more action.
If your spouse is not ready to work on solutions and strategies right then, that’s O.K. too. Simply agree on another time to begin to work thing through. Remember that sometimes, the right action in an apology is to give him or her some space to process what happened.
As always, communication and honesty are vital. If you’re open with your loved one about how you feel, and if you allow him or her to be genuine with you, you two can work through any situation.