When I'm Sorry Doesn't work

begging for forgiveness

begging for forgiveness

Made a mistake? Messed up again? Stepped your partner’s toes? If you’re in a relationship, you know how important communication is. Guess what? Apologies are an essential part of good relationship communication.

Every person makes mistakes, and it seems the closer people get, the easier collisions occur. In every relationship there are bound to be occasions for apologies. For some the mere mention of a apology conjures up thoughts of begging and pleading, While for others they seem to believe that just uttering the words “I’m Sorry” or its contemporary evil twin version “Oops, My Bad” will magically right any wrong ever committed.

The truth is that not too long and not too short seems to be the right approach. Couples who learn quickly how to exchange apologies are able to spend more time working together to create solutions and strategies and discover how to do better next time. That’s right less time begging and more time creating a solution is good advice when you make an apology.

For couples where one or both partners have concentration issues, things are no different. There will still be mistakes made, and there will still be a need for apologies. However, concentration issues can affect how to best make an apology.

Don’t make things worse by pouring on a long drawn out apology or begging endlessly for forgiveness. It only makes things worse! Don’t get lost in the million words, and your partner wants fewer words and more action.

If your partner is not ready to work on solutions and strategies right then, that’s O.K. too. Simply agree on another time to begin to work thing through. Remember that sometimes, the right action in an apology is to give your partner some space to process what happened.

***As a couple learn to exchange apologies quickly so that you can spend more time working together to talk it out, correct the mistake, and work out a strategy to do it better next time. ***

As always, communication and honesty are key. If you’re open with your partner about how you feel, and if you allow your partner to be open and genuine with you, the two of you can work through any situation.