Updated! – 5 Practical Solutions to Resolve Conflict in Your Marriage
“Love and marriage” — unfortunately, they don’t always go together like a horse and carriage.
Whether you’re still on your honeymoon or have been hitched for 5 years or 50, no marriage is perfect. If you and your spouse are hitting some road bumps, no matter how big or small, it’s totally normal!
Here are some top tips for effectively resolving conflicts and fighting healthily –
1. Talk & Listen
The first step to resolving an issue in any relationship is acknowledging the conflict itself. Choose a time that you won't be rushed, and will allow for you to fully explain your position and hear your partner’s.
A common mistake is approaching your partner with a negative or passive-aggressive attitude. Instead, approach softly. Be a willing and open communicator. Listen to your partner without speaking over them.
If you’re truly hearing them and listening to their point-of-view, they will take notice, and are likely to return the favor by truly listening to you as well.
2. Reach A Compromise
Similar to open communication, a couple’s ability to reach a compromise is crucial to any successful marriage.
Relationships are a two-way street; there’s no “one way” to settle things. That’s why you need to be open-minded, flexible, and understanding when it comes to your partner’s needs. By maintaining consistent communication, you’ll learn what your spouse wants from you.
Ultimatums are the danger here. Be sure to avoid giving them at all costs, as your partner will feel unnecessary pressure and feel forced to make a decision. Try your best to reach a common ground without trying to win every argument.
3. Don’t Jump to Conclusions
When a conflict arises in your relationship, do yourself a favor and avoid immediately thinking the worst of your loved one.
It can be far too easy to suspect a variety of “what if’s” and “how could they’s” when you see or hear of something you don’t approve of.
Again, this is where we remind how essential it is that you give your partner the benefit of the doubt, that you assume their best intentions, and operate as their biggest fan. After all, they’re the love of your life – and vice versa.
4. Show Your Appreciation For One Another
Words and actions are what can make or break a marriage.
During a conversation where you are trying to resolve a conflict, a simple “I appreciate this about you” or “I love this about you” can go a long way.
It reinforces that you ultimately want what’s best for the relationship and that you truly care for your partner. A good practice is to put these words and acts of appreciation in use on a regular basis. Do you partner a favor without them asking. Help them to complete a task or project they’re passionate about. Open communication is necessary; positive, open communication is a must.
5. Address Emotional Wounds
Even if you and your spouse have successfully navigated a conflict and reached a compromise, often, there will still be some leftover hurt feelings.
In the aftermath of an emotional conversation, you may both need time to process, and that’s okay! Lasting marriages require tender love and care.
You won’t solve all your conflicts in just one conversation, so the key is to keep at it.
Keep communicating openly. Keep compromising. Keep a positive mindset. Keep showing your loved one that you appreciate them. And, finally, keep reminding yourself that true love that stands the test of time takes exactly that – time!
Tap [Learn More] to get a FREE guide for couples dealing with issues in their relationship. Dr. Robert and Sarah Ferman have helped save countless marriages!